When Xmas is reflective

The holidays are dashing through with its combination of dim-wits and bright lights, road rage & busy shoppers, idiotic Teleni parades, lovo & curry, parties, diplomatic expulsions and greetings between long lost friends and relatives. But the holiday season can be a dreaded time of year for many of us women and can bring much anxiety.

We women often struggle with a silent pain we work hard to hide, and one that is often misunderstood. That pain is for all the combined worry and grief we expect will come at us sometime during this silly season.

This worry has uneven edges that sometimes jabs at the soul and lacerates raw hearts especially those mothers and wives that have experienced loss or grief. We worry about many things - food and education for the future, for our relatives that are spending beyond their means.

We worry about the lost message of what Xmas means, we worry for the children; for the drunkards that may invade our space, our homes and our families during this time. We worry that people wont behave themselves so we nag and become bossy.

We worry there will be arguments but try to be upbeat and muster energy to smile and hope no one notices that the twinkle in our eye is really looming tears. We worry our sadness will show so we carry on with our charade of happiness.

I have not found it easy to forget about Sakiusa Rabaka's Nau, Nimilote Verebasaga's wife and Tevita Malasebe's Nau, Anise, whose beloveds passed away 2 years ago at the hands of the Fiji Military and Police.

As we spend our Christmas's in 2008, please spare a thought for all those women in Fiji who have been so courageous in the face of everyday adversity . It is often at Christmas that we ladies crave the nostalgia for perfection - the perfect lovo and plenty of it , joyful families with no smelly drunks around to annoy us, lots of makabuna to do the dishes for us, and homes full of love.

But ragone, we do have a tendency to let our expectations overshadow reality. When the church choir start singing the carols and the Courts and MH sales begin- we can count on the fact that a woman we know is grieving.

If you have been fortunate enough to be spared a loved one passing away this year, take a moment to look around at the women in your village or community & go to see those in difficulty that may be uplifted by your friendship or care. Try to find some way to include her in your family festivities if this can help.

Love in action is more powerful than any medicine and stronger than any spoken word.

May the Good Host bless all the wonderful Freedom Bloggers in this festive season. Be safe and love one another. And may we have a much better New year in 2009.