Sep 30, 2011

Air Pacific decrees Fijian Aviation Law

David Pflieger , the CEO of Air Pacific (just for now) has been flush of late, with the success of his dream employment decrees as he very much enjoys being in the "inner sanctum" of his new best-testis mates - Bainimarama and Kaiyum (aka ASK).

So confident is he that the idiots in the Fiji military will accept any new law that will keep the good citizen down and prevent them from causing mischief, that he has dreamed up new Fijian flight regulations.

After suffering recent massive jet lag on a leg from Nausori to Suva, he presented his latest Decree :

It will now be an offense for instance to enter a plane while it is flight.

Further, no one can leave an aeroplane while it is in flight – unless you wish to make a parachute jump - and only unless it is over Kiribati.

And anyone found jumping without a parachute will be committing an offense and is liable to prosecution.

Pflieger has also decreed that before any flight, all passengers must get together and elect a pilot. Any passengers not electing a military officer will be severely punished.

Any loss of altitude granted by the Fijian Military will allow a unique close up perspective of the local terrain especially over Naisoso in Nadi - all part of Air Pacific's new commitment to make tourist flights a sight seeing extravaganza.

And in the event of the loss of an engine, it will be noted (prior to it happening) that the reduction in weight and drag will mean Air Pacific will be flying much more efficiently - which of course will please
Pflieger's friend Arsi Kaiyumi very much and earn aforementioned many more brownie points faster than Frequent Flyers.

Luvequ, it’s always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible, and gravity is not just a good idea. It’s the law. And it’s not subject to repeal.

1 comment:

Sharon S said...

Oh and you have forgotten the new revenue enhancement scheme: In case of an emergency landing on water, Air Pacific will charge US$ 189.50 for the use of an on board life vest. The fee covers up to one hour of use and if a passenger wants to extend the use of the vest, he can so at an hourly rate of US$ 95.99.