Apr 27, 2008

Bati ni Tanoa Story time : THE STAMP

A long time ago in Ku-ku land , a Despot called Frankie, worried about his heart condition treated yearly in a kidney-snatching hospital in India, told his aides that he wanted a postage stamp, just like the Queen, issued with his picture on it before he was kicked out of office. So, the now well-heeled beret-wearing, international-traveling Dictator instructs his his wannabe-kai-kuku-sulu-wearing legal lap-dog Ayass,to do it, stressing that it should be of high international quality.

The stamps are created, printed, and released. Frankie who had now changed his name to VOREQE and added the prefixation "Ratu" to it, was delighted.

The Chinese Embassy were so delighted he was delighted, they also gave him a Chinese noble name of "Ai No Pei". Imagine Ratu Ai No Pei's excitement one day to look out the window and see a silent fan club of women holding up pictures of his glorious figurehead as represented on the Stamp. Alas, he was not so pleased when he realized that up closer it was a picture of a Tibetan Monastry on a hillside with bleeding monks falling off the mountain, so he ordered all the women arrested for "incitement".

Within a few days of release of the stamp he begins hearing complaints that the stamp is not sticking to the envelopes, so he phones his old mate Commish Teletubbie and asks him to for a team of officers and their dogs to investigate.

Over a 12 month period various new organisations were specially set up for this investigation called NCBWF, T-ASS, FIKA-K, WTF and OMG , appointing expatriate mercenary hacks with odd names like Samee, Pride and Cough-phlegm to head these bodies and at a total cost of 24 million to the taxpayers. In addition, after hacking into citizen's emails, tapping their phones and stopping many good citizens at airports, checking it out at several post offices & arresting and beating up innocent postal clerks Teletub's team finally phones in ...

"I saka Sir, we have investigated this complaint about these inciteful stamps, and have now found out the problem through reading the Shyster Shameemee's "Human Rights Of Stamps" 112 page Report thats she presented as Amicus Currie during Qarase's trial.

I sake Sir, there is nothing wrong with the stamp - aah err uhm, kasivita na tamata aahh, err uhm, I saka Sir, the problem is that people are spitting on the wrong side."


11 comments:

Nero said...

LOL - now we know why we have a Charter to force us to lick the stamp whether we like to or not.

ex Fiji Tourist said...

Well said Bubu.

Now if someone wanted to make a lot of money in Fiji, they could produce toilet paper with bananasinpyjamas ugly mug printed on it.

Sales would be exceptional.

Maybe every 2nd sheet could have chaudhry the cheat on it; that would really boost sales.

TruthSayer said...

The Prophet Hosea said 2,700 odd years ago, "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness" (Hosea 4:6).

Most of history's great evils were committed by people who somehow convinced themselves that the evil they did was really good.

This is hardly a new problem.

But that this evil, under the guise of what is 'good' for us, is being played out here in Fiji under our very noses.

As Bubu has said time and time again, we should continually be on our guard for this distortion of the truth and recognise it for what it is, and teach our children to distinguish right from wrong, truth and untruth.

Frank, Ganilau, Teleni, Nailatikau, Rabuka and Mahen Chaudary Prasad et al can go on and on about good governance and accountability, but till the day I die, this will continue to ring most hollow and go down in history as the biggest most hypocritical and deceptive lie in our Nation's life.

Until they come clean to the people of this nation about the real reasons they carried out the coup and confess to what they have all tried to cover up, our Nation will NEVER move forward.

They can churn out Charter and pieces of other paper, as many as they want, but this will never change the bad odour of what these people are trying to cover up.

Tobo said...

This is the tip of Chaudhry'sins :
http://www.fijitimes.com/story.aspx?id=82243

What about Ratu O au no pay ?

How about some internal sleuthing to uncover the wormery that is the Military's Regimental Funds ?

Ohhh and include Ganilau and Co in this one too.

Theres something putrid in the State of the RFMF.

Whats the bet that maybe Chaudhry from Haryana knows something about this rotten state of affairs ?

Anonymous said...

Well it does seem that this topic is heating up and I hoep that the media will pursue this as it seems from the reaction of the stakeholders that it is a sensitive issue . This was in the Fiji Sun today

Auditor-General silent on army funds 9:06:54 AM

The Auditor-General has refused to respond to queries regarding the alleged overspending of the army’s regimental funds.

When contacted yesterday Eroni Vatuloka alleged this newspaper of threatening his staff.

“You threatened our staff? I have no comments to make on it, okay,” he said before hanging up abruptly.

Questions were faxed to his office on Friday on when Mr Vatuloka would next table his report and what was the timeframe given to any ministry or government organisation to pay up the overspent funds.

These were not answered.

Mr Vatuloka’s personal assistant said the response had been faxed.

When asked to fax another copy, she said the fax machine was in Mr Vatuloka’s room and she would be able to fax it through when he was in and she refused to allow a copy of the fax to be picked up from her office.

Mr Vatuloka reportedly stayed out of office the entire day as no fax had come through.

National Federation Party general secretary Parmod Rae has challenged Mr Vatuloka to break his silence.

“He will have to answer the questions raised because he is empowered by parliament to audit all such funds and to make his findings public. “His silence is suspicious that he must be under the threat from the military or maybe prevented by the military authority to reveal anything regarding the funds.

“All these funds comprises contributions by the ordinary soldiers and court orders have been passed to allow the Auditor-General to audit the regimental funds,”

Mr Rae said. He has also urged the Military Council to make public how the funds have been used.

“If the funds have not been misappropriated than what is there to hide? Why the secrecy?” he asked.

No comments could be obtained from the army commander Voreqe Bainimarama.

kukulei said...

Since our country is almost bancrupt, we have come up with a great idea to make money for our foreign reserves.

We will call it The Light Up Smile Face Stamp and could be marketed and sold her and internationally as a great smile face favor for all your party guests. A great toy to please kids and adults of all ages.

Make the Ratu Voreqe's stamp

2 ft long and 1½ ft wide.
How it works : Your face lights up when stamping on it.

No matter what the occasion, a smiley face favor is the perfect thing to put that smile on your guest's face. Smiling faces and fun all around with stamps like this. Take it into the teitei, on the road, at home as welcome mat.

Keep your guests smiling all the way home with smile face favors.

Business Man said...

What the Stamp story highlights is the weird and haphazard path Fiji is being taken down with equally weird and hazardous people at the helm that normally would never be asked to manage a piss up in a brewery. And I couldn't agree more as I have been dismayed too many times to count doing business here.

The crappy attitudes I come across in govt departments is enough to make you go on Prozac for life and is beyond a joke. I don't blame a lot of these ordinarily good folk but I can see that morale is a huge issue for Fiji's civil servants now, more so that I have ever seen it having done business between here and the States for the past 30 or so years.

I was lucky enough to hear Ambassador Dinger’s recent comments to the Fiji-US Chamber of Commerce where he said that that our ‘prospects of future trade and investments with the United States of America will remain dim’ until we return to democratic rule.

He also said that "potential investors have become reluctant since the 2006 coup to put their money in Fiji, where rule by decree does not include normal constitutional checks and balances’ and thus ‘endangers rule-of-law principles’.

I note that one of the daily newspapers also reported his concern of "the seemingly haphazard day-to-day management of the economy such as in the case of Fiji Water’s export rights.

While he said that ‘the Interim Government actions against prominent foreign investors, including Fiji Water, have accented concerns about a level playing field for commerce’, the good Ambassador made it clear that the signals sent by the manner in which Fiji Water was handled do not build American nor international confidence for investing in our economy.

As Dinger explained, ‘since Fiji Water has contributed greatly to building “Fiji” into an international label, it is inevitable that recent actions by FIRCA have been noticed internationally’.

To underscore the point, Dinger declared that in regard to Fiji’s post-coup record, the annual US Investment Climate Statement had ‘no choice but to advise potential investors to consider carefully the current state of play’ since, ‘in today’s globalised world, investors have options, and they want a solid, predictable rule-of-law environment’.

One would think that this interim govt would pay heed to this advice given by a man this revered in international circles , and like me, who loves Fiji and its people and will always have Fiji at heart wherever we may roam.

Anonymous said...

Truthsayer you are so right. This from Fiji Live

Mixed reactions to People’s Charter
28 APR 2008
There appears to be mixed reactions to the People’s Charter for Change, Peace and Progress that has been proposed by Fiji’s interim regime.

Head of the National Council for Building a Better Fiji (NCBBF) consultation team, Rudhra Maharaj said on their visits around the country to explain the purpose of the Charter, they noticed that while some spoke out and sought explanations, a majority of the people remained silent.
------------

How long has Mr Maharaj lived in Fiji ?

If Mr Maharaj and his cronies dont realise what it means when our people are silent , then he must not have grown up or lived here in our country.

Doce's.

Fiji said...

Vinaka DeBu. Good to have a laugh after all the depressing stories and goings-on. Keep up the good work!

Woilei said...

Second that Fiji. But I think the message behind this story is very true. People are very angry about what is happening in their Viti. I hear it everyday at my work, in my church and at Parents/Teachers.

To see the damage and national calamity that the military regime has brought upon our heads in just one single year is horrific and unbelievable.And everyone wants it all to just end.

Our misery must end please.

We must have elections and downsize the army totally.

Down with the military and No to the Charter!

Anonymous said...

Fijians never killed Indians nor Indians tried to kill fijians nor take their land, they have been living virtually in peace for a long time.
I praise all people in Fiji for keeping the peace, of course there are some wrong doings, but do you want to see a lot blood on the streets? of course not.
Remember the riots in Vatukoula and Suva in 87? Freddie wanted to burn me in the lovo pit in front of Govt Bldg!
Yet Kai valgais (who a lot of people will bend down too) have killed, raped, taken the vanua, burn't villagers introduced alcohol, slavery, guns and ammo, VD and used 'divide n rule policy' so they profit from the resources that belong rightfully to the indigenous Fijians: example, WMC, and overseas companies wanting to extract OIL from Bligh waters. Also other resources, such as mahogany (speight did a deal with US coy hence his coup in 2000, because he was caught).
After 87, Rabuka's govt gave monies for investment for the provinces but majority of the funds are in the names of the elites.
It will never filter down to the tikina.
Kai valagis have ruled dark skinned people for centuries, so what is new? See divide n rule working in Lebanon yesterday.

Majority of the land is owned by the Fijians via NLTB and leased out. The president is Fijian, so are the Com of police, CJ, PM, parliament, army has majority Fijians, etc: So now that Frank has taken over, why the fuss? Why u no say anything about Rabuka or Speight? They did the same thing and kai valagis excepted them even the Queen allowed Rambo to have tea with her, but his time it is different, isn't it?
Yes, u want elections and then what?
Please ask yourself this, since independence has the ruling fijian dominated parties done for the average Fijian? Nothing.

Maybe that is why there is so much resentement for those that have progressed.
Yes, some are not good people and got ahead because they supported the govt of the day (cronies) and all the poor who are not elites, were left to fend for themselves. Lucky dube said: not every black man is my brada, and not all white people are my enemy. Now he is dead!
Yet u want elections, rule of law, democracy, freedom of speech, etc? Why? is it for self only? Is it going to assist all those that are trying to survive, whilst the cronies are having a good time, drinking champagne and laughing hahaha, whilst the majority suffer?
Give Frank till mar 09. If no elections will be held, Frank
will have to go (attempts on his life have been recorded, please do not not remove him that way but he should step down).
Why is it the media keeps asking Rabuka for his comments? He conducted the first coups in 87.
Savua comments support outside interference.....bradas, when one door is closed another will open. Everyone wants peace but first must COME EQUAL RIGHTS AND JUSTICE FOR ALL MANKIND. maybe that is what Frank is doing. It cannot happen overnight.
Everywhere u look is conflict between races and religious intolerance.
So think globally and act locally.
Yet a lot fijians and Indians, work, eat n drink together (taki), please keep it that way, give Frank a little time, maybe it will be better for EVERYONE in the long term.
We have to have faith in the lord(whoever u believe in) and he will work miracles those that are not clean will not enter the gates because the meek shall inherit the earth whilst the wicked will eat dirt.
Wait a minit, we wanna have elections, and SDL wins, then what bradas and sistas, full on blood shed? No YOU cannot let that happen, because it is FIJI.