Gather around my dears, and I will tell you the story :
And so it came to pass in a small South Pacific Country ruled by a desperate despot called Barny Banana and his sidekick called Arsi Kai-si Vroom Vroom .......
The two stole many millions from the people but pretended like they were doing good for the people. They used to spend much of their time riding around the country in their Donkeys called Pajero , Sunair, and their flying brooms called AirPacific and TaxpayerPaisa.
Along with their many deaf and dumb servants, they used to ride into poor little villages around the country and declare an assortment of decrees and laws that demanded that people must love them or they wouldnt be getting any aid for their schools and their bridges and their roads.
Then one day, when the country was almost at its knees in bankruptcy, along came a fellow on a galloping white horse called Prince Mark Johnson whose best friends, Prince's Frank, Steven and Peter Lowy owned a very famous Highfalutin Powwow Shop in a land far far away that Barny the Despot could not and would not pronounce.
Prince Johnson himself wished to obtain permission to go up into the mountains in search of valuable stones and proved himself a champion at a new curry called Curry Favour.
Barny Banana knew that this was the man that could save his Kingdom and make him look wonderful in the eyes of the world.
But how could he do this ?
As he pondered about this in the mirror one day, he summoned his second banana Arsi Kai-si Vroom Vroom to his court and commanded he wave his Decreedous-Broom to work it out with the new Court consort.
By now Vroom Vroom had become used to having his own servants so he summoned one of them to his own Lilliputian court promising the Colon-y's Golden Tapioca Trophy if she succeeded first.
Her name was Sharon Go Go-Bells who was known for dying her hair bright orange so she could stand out in the crowd. She was so very pleased to be recognised in the Kingdom as she had come from a land far far away that had never appreciated her many stupin-dous talents, so she hurried off in a clangor jangling her cow bells as she went on this great errand.
Go Go-Bells went back to her shack and set about scheming how best she could win the Trophy for best brown-nosed citizen ....
She got on her broom and flew off to the next town to see her best friend Caza Te Butt who was the big kahuna of a convoluting but local highfalutin emporium. She whispered excitedly in her ear and it was agreed that for a few substantial pieces of gold, the graphs would be drawn favorably, to make it seem that people of the Kingdom loved Barny Banana very much .
This would make Go Go-Bells first in line for the coveted Golden prize.
Alas, when the coveted day arrived and the big kahuna of the highfalutin bure released her charts and graphs to the world, the big secret was discovered, and none of the people believed the word of the famous highfalutin shop nor of the local convoluted store.
Kai-si Vroom Vroom got very angry at the discovery of his wheelin and dealin and berated Go Go-Bells who got back on her broom and slunk back to her hovel in the Colon-y of the Golden Tapioka.
And the people became much the wiser in the Kingdom.
A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep. -Saul Bellow, writer, Nobel laureate (1915-2005)