I have to tell you Shazzer, that is not the sophisticated end of Suva the City of Dreams and not the sort of place for a Walkley and Logie-award winning journalist (that's me).
When I asked for a Cab Sauv they called a taxi. So I asked for a Pinot Noir and the man said "she's off today." It wasn't going well and I was getting a bit irritated, especially when they brought me some terrible thing called Tribe to drink. I said "Do you know who I am?" and the man said "just wait until you sober up, then we can help you find out." I was getting very angry by now and told the man, "do you know that I have a Walkley AND a Logie?" He said "me too, but the girls don't mind." The company on offer didn't seem to be of a fixed gender and I have to say Shazzer, in my mind's eye you were looking like Miss World Fiji in comparison.