Mar 31, 2007

Poropo Qanada from Bubu's Vale-ni-kuro

Bula ragone - Bubu has been very busy cooking in the vale-ni-kuro ! 

After all we have to look for alternatives to help feed ourselves and our kai-vata since all this rain is making all our garden crops soggy and my draunimoli waicala. Back in the koro many of my mataqali have lost their jobs at the hotels and in town. Their children are suffering eating noodles and bele breakfast, lunch & dinner as many of their vegetables and crops have been washed away. Not only have they got kanikani and dhani kei na vuvu from this wet weather, the makabuna are looking quite green from eating all that bele.

Our veiwekani in Australia and Niusilade have been asked to send us money to keep us going - vakamadua na kerekere. But from the koro Bubu and her veiwekani have been talking in our vale-ni-kuro and while making bele-bhaji and dahl tapioca, we have decided to turn our wounds into wisdom . 

So not to be outdone by Bubu Josevini, we are "bestowing" our very own peasant cookies on each of the illegal Ministers and side dishes who are forcibly busy dragging our country into rack and ruin , spending OUR tax dollars without our permission, suppressing our god-given freedoms and justifying their existence with petty announcements of Poropo Qanada, in the form of their very own recipes. You will appreciate that we Bubu's are not just pretty faces.

I lead off today with Mahen's very own :


The thing that gets Mayhem about the common people is that there are just SO MANY of them, and they seem to defy the Darwinian school of thought that says: Those who don't dine at the KoManDa's table will not reproduce as much as those who do. 

With no proof in hand , he hopes that the peasant's attention to "wiser" diets of blogger information will eventually render them sterile. Unfortunately for him peasant sterility may take a few thousand years.

10 slices of investment bacon, butchered into inch long pieces
6 pounds of spineless "yes" brand chickens
1/2 cup of potato chips oil
2 shots of AhKoy or SirNaDemu cognac
Soured tourist wine or if you can't afford it, draunimoli
Kerekere 1 tsp sugar from the neighbour
6 handfuls of permanent onions
1 pound of nepotism cream
A tube of softened Bai butter
Sprinkling of promulgations

Desalt the bacon by simmering for 15 years and reducing stock by between 5 and 15%. Throw out the baby bacon with the water. Keep the fat for one's next travel to India to raise funds for the next set of recipes.

Coat the chickens and sear in the hot fat left from above.Chug a shot of cognac with new military Chairman of the next wotever committee. 

Pour another shot and chuck it into the pan, then light a peasant with a propane torch/lighter/light saber and ignite the pan. Shake around until the flames subside WEEEEE!!! Stamp on the peasant and have him thrown out. Get Major AhNaDa to tell the peasant the beating is none of his concern.

Meanwhile, quarter the investors and sauté in butter and olive oil for a few minutes. Shake the permanent onions by boiling in water for a minute. Score a cross on one end forehead of each onion and sear in butter. It can be eaten now by quickly reheating everything together, or toss together in the hope that no one notices, but Mayhem strongly recommends letting it sit for a couple of years to enable concentration of power over the flavors, thereby depressing and condensing the whole melange to a national hash.

Serves 16 failed egotistic NFPF and FLP and hubristic candidates, with with Lekh Tabetabe Squash Panache on the side. Turn off power before the blackout.

PS : When we run out of food and can't afford much, Wendy & Peceli have some wananavu suggestions that have to do with Baigani

Next recipe we promise to feature some cowses - bly me ! 

And remember luvequ's to look out for all that Poroporo Qanada . Enjoy your baigani while you can !


Anonymous said...

Bubu - vinaka. I have never laughed so much but then I cried too - I really hate what these fiends are doing to our country and our people !

Keep The Faith said...

ROFL Bubu....go Bubu's GOOOO (and Fiji too)...LOL again.

"This is a community announcement, get your original Coup-Coup-Coup Cookbooks from your nearest blogstore this Easter"

LOL x 10!

Anonymous said...

The recipe goes down a treat with a liberal coating of Worseshaista Sauce

Anonymous said...

Yumoooo!!...I'd like to change Georgina Ledua's song 'draki qo na gunu bu ga' to draki qo BUBU ga!!! Go buqu go!!!

Anonymous said...

I really laughed sara ga. And then cried a little bit too!
Bubu mai Malevani.

Anonymous said...

ROFL indeed! Awesome writing.

This is a recipe for disaster however. problem with these people having too many vale-ni-kuros eh Bubu.

Bubu, see this people "chow my chow"

Discombobulated Bubu said...

Well you know ragone when you are trying to service more than one vale-ni-kuro at once, and are the pseudo ruler of the country, of course you are going to get Mayem - oilei ! But by not saying anything, we are letting people like this - with NO SCRUPLES & NO MORALES tell us what to do, and what to accept ... NO WAY PEOPLE - NO WAY!

Anonymous said...

Bhaini's baigani
I. Pick a few baigans.
2. Run around the block'or around the cane-farm.
3. Wrap in foil.
4. Do ten press-ups.
5. Throw on the fire.
6. Do five handstands.
7. Remove baigans from fire.
8. Do three somersaults.
9. Eat baigani.
10. Consider yourself fortunate that you are not actually starving.
from Bubu mai Malevani