In the light of your failure to stamp out dictatorship and to govern yourselves again, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties to cover all islands, villages and qoliqoli. Except Turtle Island, which she does not fancy.
The leader of this 3% junta party , "RHV "(really horrid vore iPM) and those who supported him (who have been until now unaware that there was a world outside their borders) will be banished to Mavana Reef where Vore will be allowed to appoint a Minister to read between the lines without the need for further elections. Cabinet , the GCC , Judiciary , Police Force and the Parliament on Mavana Reef will be disbanded while they await the President's decisions , a black list of 8,500 reef fish will be watched, and the reef perimeter monitored for incitement. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
3. Please distinguish between the English and Chinese accents. It really isn't that hard. Ask SirJimFlyingLice to translate Fijian land into Chinese.
4. Bollywood will be required occasionally to cast Fijian army personnel actors as sheep.
10. Please tell us who is behind this coup and all the other coups. It's been driving us crazy.
Thank you for your cooperation.